Writing Words for Nerds #AtoZChallenge—T is for Touch (your words)

T is for Touch

T is for touch.

It’s the dull weight of

A tiny tangerine

In your hand.

It’s the waxy Texture

Of the skin, the gritty feel

Of the parts of its peel

Stuck under your finger nails,

The tangy Taste on your tongue,

As you take that first bite

And Sniff and Touch and Taste

The sweet and sour fruit.

T is for Touch.

Sorry for the bad free verse, but can you feel it? Can you feel that tangerine?

Long-held writing wisdom says that you should write in a way that lets your reader experience each scene with all of the reader’s senses. We should be able to see it and hear it, of course, but we should also be able to touch it. taste it.  And smell it. If the air is damp and chilly, we should be able to feel that on our skin in a way that gives us goose bumps and makes us shiver.

In recent years, science has backed this up, proving that the word for a thing stimulates the exact same parts of the brain as the thing itself. This is even works with actions, so if I write "giggle," a part of your brain is sort of giggling.

And if I write . . .

Smile!

Did you smile?

Well, if you didn't on the outside, your brain probably did. Pretty cool, right?

This part of writing, the part where I get you to physically experience the world of the characters, has always been a little challenging for me. I’m not sure why. There could be more than one reason. I like to start with dessert, and for me that’s always been action and dialogue, high drama or low-brow humor. Anything but description. I know my writing needs more of it, but . . . I just don’t like writing it that much.

 Or perhaps it’s because of my background in Theater Studies, cartooning, and illustrating. In those settings, anything visual is simply shown visually. There’s no need to use words to describe anything. So using words to describe something I’d much rather draw or design? It’s a challenge.

And it becomes even harder when you consider that long-held writing wisdom also says you should write in nouns and verbs, and that adverbs and adjectives should be banished from your writing. How do you describe a touch or a taste without using the words that describe actions and things?

The answer often given is to use the most specific verbs and nouns, and that’s hard. Yes, some words can be made more specific. You can write “tangerine” instead of “fruit.” You could write the “tangerine bit back” instead of describing it as “sour,” but isn’t sour clearer? I mean, it may be poetic, but the tangerine isn’t literally biting back.

And aren’t adjectives and adverbs just additional tools for the writer to use? Should we really discard a whole section of our toolbox? What if an adjective is the perfect tool to get the job done? Shouldn’t the rule that says, “use what works” supersede the “write in nouns and verbs” rule? I think it should.

Anyway, here’s one of my attempts at trying to help the reader touch a scene. It’s from Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one). This is Gilbert, lying paralyzed in bed after Amber bit him, reflecting on the events of the night that led up to his current predicament. He’s remembering what happened just after he first met Amber at Bucky Bee’s in New York City. At this point, they’re walking home together. There are many more descriptive scenes in Toren the Teller’s Tale and Ride of Your Life, but I particularly like this one. Hope you like it, too:

She intertwined her fingers with mine, and it felt like . . . like the entire universe in all of time was a giant jigsaw puzzle. All the outer pieces had been put in place first, and then someone had worked his way through that puzzle from the outside in. Over time all the pieces had been put in place until there were only two spaces left: one space for my hand, the other space for Amber’s. When she took my hand and intertwined her fingers in mine, it was like they had been designed to fit together that way, like the universe had been waiting—holding its breath—just waiting for those last two pieces to slide into place and make everything complete.

We continued walking down 9^th Avenue and crossed West 34^th Street. Everything took on a magical feel—even the smells from the Chinese restaurant, and the lights from the cars that passed and from the illuminated ads on the bus stops—they were all pieces of that puzzle that had been waiting for the two of us. The way we walked side by side; the way her red dress looked with my navy blue jacket over her shoulders, even though my jacket was too big on her in exactly the same way that it was too big on me; the way she smiled; and the way she made me smile: everything was infused with magic.

For a brief second I thought I caught a vision of . . . something . . . It was such a strange feeling, like I was looking into the future, or maybe the future was looking in on me. Or maybe it was the past. Or maybe both. It reminded me of a song, and I began to sing it. “There’s not a word yet . . .”

“. . . for old friends who’ve just met,” she continued. She had such a sweet voice. “That’s Gonzo’s song from The Muppet Movie.”

“You know it?” I asked, surprised.

She nodded. “It’s funny, I was thinking the same thing. It’s like we met in a previous life.”

“I don’t believe in previous lives.”

“A future one, then.”

I laughed. Yes, that was exactly what it was like. “I believe in those.” Or at least I did at the time. Not so sure now.

If you want to read the rest, click the link below. For now, it's just $2.51 on Amazon Kindle:

 

The answer to "Where does your humor come from?"

A friend and fellow writer, LM Preston, recently asked me where my humor comes from. 

Well, I'll tell you, and I hope it helps you see the humor in the world the way that I do, because if there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s laughter.

Like Gilbert Garfinkle--the hero of Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one), I like to take things apart and fix them. I always have. Unlike Gilbert, though, the things I most like to take apart are stories, particularly funny stories.

I was born into a big family. I was the second child of six, which means I was a middle child in a sea of middle children. Like most middle children, I wanted attention. After all, that’s easy for the eldest and youngest to get attention. Middle children, not so much, particularly when there’s four.

My dad loved jokes, and I did too. So I would collect them. I know it seems odd, but I would watch sitcoms and take notes. I had a little spiral notebook where I’d write down different elements of my favorite shows, like Taxi and M.A.S.H., including the best lines. Once a week, I’d repeat the jokes I had collected to my family and make my dad laugh.

I also used to write funny essays for school. My class and my teachers loved them. I wasn't the class clown; I was the class wit. I was funny on paper, and I still am. 

Brevity, they say, is the soul of wit, and I know that’s true when it comes to my humor. The more I edit something funny, the funnier it gets. Comedy, I believe, is tragedy dancing the quickstep.

I continued to take apart and try to figure out comedy as I grew up, and I even took a couple of courses on the topic in college, where I majored in English Literature and Theater Studies. I was taught that pain plus distance equals comedy, which is the standard theory. I didn't agree with it. I think that sometimes comedy comes from painful things viewed at a distance; but so many funny things have no element of pain in them, and so many things that include pain and distance aren't funny at all. So I continued to work on my own theory.

A few years later, I got a job as an editorial cartoonist, and that's when I developed my own formula for comedy.

It’s summed up with three S’s. They are Setup, Surprise, and Sense.

Setup is pretty much what your humor is about. It could be the news, your life, or the characters and plot of your novel.

Surprise is the most important element of comedy, because without it, the audience just isn't going to laugh. Think of a joke you've already heard. If you hear it again, you won't find it as funny as you did the first time, and that’s because the element of surprise is gone.

And all jokes have to make some sort of Sense, because if they didn't, they'd just be confusing, not funny. Puns, for example, make phonetic sense.  And when it comes to stories, each character has to act in a way that makes sense in some way for that character.

As for pain, I think it's important that a joke not be too painful for the intended audience. That's when you cross the line from being funny to just being mean and hurtful. Of course, what one audience finds painful, another won't. Sometimes it's a matter of tailoring your humor for a particular audience; and other times it's a matter of finding an audience that fits a particular brand of humor.

Okay, so now you have my formula. The question still remains: where does humor come from? Finding or creating a setup is easy. Finding the sense in it is easy too. But how do you create the surprise--the most important element of comedy?

It’s all about looking at things from a fresh and surprising perspective.

Blow it up under a magnifying glass. Make it big, bigger, biggest. Put it in a surprising context, but in a way that makes sense. If it’s rosy, make it blue. If it’s blue, make it rosy. And take it as far as it will go. I like to say that when it comes to comedy take it all the way, to the edge of that cliff. Then push.

Edit, edit, and edit some more. Can you make that happen faster? Then do. Can you say that more briefly and still make sense? Then do.

Take my latest novel, Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one) as an example.

I wrote the first draft for NaNoWriMo in under a month...and then I spent the next year editing it. 

Taking a page from Improv, I wrote several versions of many of the scenes so I could choose the funniest one. And any time I saw a chance to make things bigger, I took it. I didn't want Gilbert to be just a regular geek: I wanted him to be the ultimate geek. And I didn't want to give him just any old conflict: I wanted to give him the ultimate geek's ultimate conflict. Gilbert has a compulsive need to take apart, figure out, and fix things, so I had to give him something he would never be able to take apart, figure out, and fix. I had to give him a gorgeous vampire girl who wants to turn him into her platonic BFF, literally forever. How is the ultimate geek supposed to make sense of that?  

If you're thinking, “But that doesn't make sense, and you said comedy has to make sense,” you're right, it doesn't. It defies Gilbert's obsessively logic mind. At least it does at first. There is a logic to that gorgeous vampire girl's seeming insane choice, a logic that takes Gilbert most of the book to figure out.

I’d tell you what it is, but then I'd spoil the surprise, and you know comedy won't work without it. You'll just have to read it to find that out for yourself.    

Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek (like Gilbert)

Geeks (or nerds) are our most undervalued resource. The meek might inherit the earth someday, but the geeks will definitely inherit the stars! 

Here are ten reasons why geeks make the best boyfriends or girlfriends:

1. Passionate

As Gilbert Garfinkle tells Amber in Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one) , all geeks are passionate about something: “The very definition of being a geek is that you love something just because you love it, not because someone is telling you you should, but in spite of them telling you you shouldn't. There's no greater love than geek love. If you're lucky, maybe someday you'll find it too.”

2. Intelligent

It takes a certain genius to be a true geek.

3. Fun

Who better to watch Doctor Who with than a fellow Whovian? What do you mean, you've never seen an episode of Doctor Who? Well then, you are in for a treat! Just try to get to the episodes with Amy and Rory quickly. They're the most romantic couple on TV ever. And you can watch The Princess Bride together, and he can tell you, “As you wish,” and... 

You are just going to have so much fun together.  

4. Likely to get rich someday

That’s true in Gilbert’s case, anyway. He’s a computer genius who invents things. True, he’s not really interested in money, but the potential is definitely there.

5. Happy and often funny

Geeks are happy because they've found something they love. And while not all geeks are funny, many have a great sense of humor. Gilbert does.

6. Inventive

Whether your geek is into designing software, writing science fiction, or drawing comic books, he or she is sure to come up with creative ways to express his or her love for you.

7. Appreciative

Geeks generally don't expect to be loved, so when they are, they appreciate the one who loves them.

8. Doesn't judge

You know those people who only want to hang out with the popular crowd and who dress and look a certain way and wouldn't dare deviate from what's currently considered cool? Those people aren't geeks, and they have no idea what they're missing.

9. Loves you for who you are

A geek cares most about what's in your heart and would never ask you to change for him or her.

10. Encourages you to express your own geeky side

Stop caring about what people might think. Is there something you love so much you want the world to know? Then tell the world! You'll soon find you aren't alone. There's someone out there who is as geeky about that thing as you are, and you can share that limitless passion together.

10 + 1 Songs from the Unofficial Why My Love Life Sucks Soundtrack

I love all kinds of storytelling. When I was little, right up until the year before I graduated from college, I wanted to write and direct TV shows and movies. But then I found out that writers and directors never really have full control over the stories they tell, which is why I decided to become a novelist instead. My stories, though, still play like TV shows or movies in my head--with soundtracks and everything.

So here is the unofficial soundtrack for my funny, geek-centric YA novel: Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one). These are songs I hear in my head when I think of certain scenes and characters from the book. Click on the song title to follow the link to a YouTube video.

10 + 1 Songs from the Unofficial Why My Love Life Sucks: The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer (part one) Soundtrack

Intro: “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by Eric Idle (Monty Python)

Chapter one: “Breakeven” by The Script.

Chapter three (Amber): “She’s So High Above Me” by Tal Bachman

Chapter three: “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” (Gonzo’s Song from The Muppet Movie, with clips from Life on Mars, cover version by Paula Jarvis)

Chapter four: “Crazy” by Seal

Chapter five: “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas (Oprah show flash-mob version)

Chapter 10: “Galaxies” by Owl City

Chapter 12: “D & D” by Stephen Lynch

Chapter 16: “Fix You” by Coldplay

Epilogue: “May It Be” by Enya from The Lord of the Rings soundtrack

As the credits roll: “My Life Would Suck Without You” by Kelly Clarkson

Why I Write Humor

Joss Whedon--the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, and writer and director of The Avengers--says,“Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.”

Joss Whedon and the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I agree.

Humor adds so much to any kind of writing.

Humor can prevent a dramatic scene from getting melodramatic and sappy.

Sometimes it can be a preemptive strike, because you know that if you don’t poke fun at your own story, there are those who will be more than happy to do it for you. It’s enough to have a character say, “You’ve gotta be kidding” before the reader does to “for the love of God, tell a joke.”

Humor can also prevent readers from getting bored.

Stephen King--the author of numerous bestselling novels, including Carrie, It and The Stand, and the undisputed king of the horror genre--says, “You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.”

It stays as long as it wants, because readers want laughter to stick around.

Humor keeps us on our toes and stops us from getting bored, because comedy is about surprise. 

Don’t believe that? Then ask yourself if you laugh harder the first time you hear a joke or the second? If it’s the first, ask yourself why. You’ll soon realize it’s because the element of surprise is gone. Humor can turn any kind of ordinary novel, movie, or TV show into one you just can't put down, walk away from, or turn off. Once it plops down in your favorite chair, you want to plop down in your favorite chair and stay there as long as it does.

Humor can change a cliche into something new.

For example, you've probably encountered many lovesick vampires in books, movies, and on TV, but how many have you encountered who are too shy to tell the girl they love how they feel? That's one of the reasons why Gilbert Garfinkle from Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one) is who he is--that amazing geek full of self-confidence who is afraid of only one thing: girls. He breaks all the vampire cliches, and that makes his story funny, surprising, and new.

And last but not least, humor makes us feel good. That’s been scientifically proven.

I don’t always write comedies. In fact, I cried buckets when I wrote my romantic, YA ghost-story, Ride of Your Life, and readers have told me that it has the same effect on them. But I do try to put some humor in everything I write. When I see a cliche, I feel a compulsive need to break it, or, at the very least, point it out. One of the scenes that is a turning point in Ride of Your Life isn't when Josh wows Tracy with some huge romantic gesture; it's when she laughs at his mistake and he's not too proud to laugh along with her. In fact, it makes him happy just to know he's put a smile on her face.

I like reading books--and watching TV show and movies--that make me laugh, even when they're making me fall in love, terrified, excited, or anything else. Who doesn’t? And knowing that makes me want to be the kind of writer whose stories I would enjoy reading, the kinds of stories that--at least here and there--make me laugh.  

I hope they make you laugh too.

Top 10 Reasons Why Gilbert Garfinkle's Love Life Sucks

Here's one of several requested guest posts I wrote specifically for a recent blog tour that, due to technical problems, were never posted. I'll post the others over the coming days.

Top 10 Reasons Why Gilbert Garfinkle's Love Life Sucks

SPOILER ALERT: Why does Gilbert Garfinkle's love life suck? Why My Love Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, book one) slowly reveals the answer to that question, so if you'd rather not read any spoilers before reading the book, stop here. Otherwise...

1. The beautiful, mysterious, and seemingly sweet Amber is the first girl he's ever kissed. She's also a vampire who bites him, sucks his blood, leaves him paralyzed and in pain, and later tells him she did it because she wants him to be her platonic BFF--literally forever. She likes him a lot, just not “that way.” Isn't that reason enough?

2. He's had a crush on the absolutely amazing Jenny Chen since the day she let him fix her camera when they were both six, but he’s too afraid to tell her. What if it ruins their friendship, and she never wants to see him again? It would be a pain worse than death.

3. His mother constantly reminds him that the only reason a pretty girl would want to be with someone like him is for money. That's the only reason why she married his brilliant father, and although Gilbert badly wants to be like his father, he's also afraid of falling into a golddigger’s trap.

4. His mother is beautiful, and she loathes him. That makes beautiful girls in general terrifying.  

5. Gilbert needs everything to make sense. Love. Doesn't. Make. Sense.

6. Delilah Jones, the former school bully turned domineering school queen bee, insists he take her out in an expensive car to an expensive restaurant. Considering she only dates guys who can help her move up the social ladder at school and geeks like him are at the bottom of that social ladder, that doesn't make sense.

7. Gilbert has a compulsive need to take apart, figure out, and fix things. He can't do that with a girl. Case in point: Amber. If she's not at all attracted to him like she says, why does she want to spend eternity with him and not her boyfriend?

8. When he’s in the presence of a girl he’s attracted to, he doesn’t think. That’s never a good idea.

9. After Amber bites Gilbert, girls are suddenly attracted to his vampire charm. That terrifies him, which brings out a “bite or flight” response--and he doesn’t want to bite anyone. Ever.

10. He was starting to fall for Amber before she bit him, and his eidetic memory means he'll never forget the pain and terror he felt when she did. How will he ever get past this connection his brain has made between opening his heart and the greatest pain he’s ever known?

~*~*~

Also, it's love. It sucks. The trick is to forget that and fall in love anyway. And maybe, if you're really lucky, for at least a few glimmering moments, life in general won't suck so much.

"Why My Love Life Sucks is a book that from the very beginning, is engaging and enjoyable..."

"Why My Love Life Sucks is a book that from the very beginning, is engaging and enjoyable. Gilbert is so very likeable and what he has to go through is at times funny and touching.  Shevi Arnold wrote a great book!" ~ Coffee and a Book Anytime

Yes, I did write a book specifically for geeks like us. We are all Gilbert in my book, and that makes us all geeking awesome. Thanks for noticing. You rock!

You can check out the rest of this review by clicking here.